It’s taken a week to get to the place to write this blog entry. I think I have typed this out about 6 times now, only to hit the backspace button and delete it all. Not because there’s nothing to write about because honestly the fishing has been great. There is just things you don’t say as an angler in fear of your next trip landing you a big nasty skunk. I like to try to keep myself as humble as I possibly can no matter how good things might be going.The last thing I want is for the bass or mother nature to put me back in my place.
The rush of fishing has consumed my thoughts as I have a constant playback going on in my head of some great catches. The fight, the fury, and the power have me amped up to the point that just writing this has given me goosebumps all up and down my arms. I’ve hooked good fish before but being in a kayak takes that rush to a new place for me.
I feel like I’m on a mission and I have something to prove to myself. There’s just something about it when you get in that “zone”. You go right into that game day mode and "do your job". The pressure I put on myself is all self inflicted, but it’s what keeps me going. I don't want to feel failure. There’s nothing that makes me angrier than the thought of failure. That anger is my fuel. It is my motivation that keeps me wanting to work harder and keep learning. The inner rage brings out the animal in just about anyone if you think about it. That fuel burns hot and when you light it, there is just this overwhelming experience that takes place. The excitement is pure, passionate, and usually leads to a little shakiness after.
The last thing I want is to get over confident when things are good. So much of fishing is give and take. You’re the man when you’re catching and nobody when you’re not. In this game you are only as good as your last outing. The thought of that alone is enough to keep you humble and driven. That’s also where you turn your fears into motivation. No one likes the feeling of failure.
Sitting here this week I have done my best to keep myself in check. I know it's coming as much as I’d like to think I can beat the odds. This short blog of babble may have just jinxed the whole thing for all I know. When it happens all I can do is learn and use it as motivation for the next one. Things will work themselves out cast by cast. Just keep your bananas away from me.